No Pacifiers

Most babies have sturdy sucking impulse. Beyond feeding, sucking often has a soothing, calming effect for these cuties. A pacifier might soothe a fussy baby, offer temporary distraction or even help a baby fall asleep so most parents have pacifiers to offer.  But when the baby is beyond doubt hungry, you can be sure the pacifier would not pacify any longer.

I was watching a little boy recently, it was obvious the cries from him are basically of hunger pangs but his care-giver thought otherwise and offered him a pacifier, the boy sucked for what seemed like 2 minutes and gave a squeal; I guess the boy discovered he was being deceived.

My life coach wants to change his car, he had always wanted a particular brand that he kept talking about, for some reasons he has not been able to get the car, but I watch him reject every other brand, he insists that only his desired brand could satisfy his craving. He wants no alternatives!

That got me thinking; I began to think about the number of times I have settled for something that is not “it”, (where “it” = desired longing).  And I concluded, it was either the desire “to have” or “be” that I had, was not as strong as hunger pangs or never existed in the first place. It could also mean that every other thing life threw at me was good enough to pacify me (that doesn’t sound too smart though).

So this is what I do now, I analyze my desires; do I really want this? What can I do to get it or get there? Is it worth it? I also think about alternatives- the pacifiers and tag them distractions to getting the main deal, not minding the soothing effects, and then I go towards my goal.

I wish I could say I always run towards my goal, I do sometimes, then walk or even stroll but I have vowed never to stop. Running becomes easier when I think about the end, so I have also decided to keep the picture of the end close so I can go on motivated.

Ask yourself how many times life has handed you pacifiers and you took them instead of the main deal.  We all still come around to being hungry after a while of sucking on the pacifiers, don’t we?

Then, can we also apply this to our nation? When next our “leaders” offer us pacifiers to soothe our hunger for good governance and accountability, can we adamantly refuse it like a hungry baby would have resisted a pacifier?

The future starts with you sticking to your dreams and working on achieving it and the future is now!

A chip off the Old Block

"You must be Mr. Babs' daughter" , "oh my, why are aren't you a boy?" these statements were ones I often heard in the days when i would crop my hair and wear my boyish cheeky grin I got from my dad without any make-up and earringss. an accessory I "forget" to wear at will (my mom would always scold me when I do not wear earrings, so my escape line was to tell her I forgot it by the mirror), now that I with all effort dropped my tomboy ways and wear braids, makeup and all of that, I am still at first glance a chip off that old block; Mr Babs!
My people would say that no matter how broke a prince is, his royalty is something he would always have, a prince would always be a prince! No matter how well you primp or preen, clad in suit or live in rags, your inherent personality would never leave you except you disconnect consciously, it's your inheritance and your heritage.  This is what happens when a child whose dad had been long dead before the child came to awareness would display a character or make a decision and men who knew the late dad would acknowledge that the child just acted like the late dad.

Bible says God created people in his own very image, He patterned us after himself. What happened to us that men no longer say that we act just like Him? We would not have taken up all that redemption has to offer if all we do is hide under the pavilion of His name away fom the fiery darts of the devil or become a little bit more spiritual and pray in tongues. God chose to reconcile man to Himself that man may be restored to the former state, the split image of God, it pleases God that men be like Him.

This is so amazing because for man to come back to that state all he needs is to accept the reality of God's word. The Bible teaches that as many as recieved Christ, He gave them power to become the sons of God, the decision to embrace the truth that Christ alone reconciles man to God automatically generates power for the state of son-ship, all that is needed is to activate the power.

I love the letter Paul wrote to the Colossians, he foreknew that we might have issues accepting the simplicity of God's love, so he said "don't let anyone lead you astray with empty philosophy and high sounding nonsense that come from the basic principles of this world, for it pleases God that all the fullness of the deity dwell in Christ Jesus and you are complete through your union in Christ Jesus"

Union is the act of making or becoming a single unit and here is Paul saying we are united with Christ. Jesus himself said "I and my father are one"; we are in him, complete and filled of his nature, He said "I gave them the same glory you gave me so that they may be one just as you and I are one: I in them and you in me, so that they may be completely one...

All things have been made available, we are already pronounced blessed of all spiritual blessings, all we need is to take our place and exercise dominion. When affairs of life seem running out of hands, stand up and declare I am just like my father God, I have dominion over affairs, if Christ would walk on water then I can ride on storms, declare what you would love to have because your words carry life like His does and don't even waver or falter about your declarations until they materialize.

Stay in the place of prayer; whosoever woud have whatsoever he declares when he prays. That's why I love to pray, for me, it's staying in God's presence and declaring His words to Him and getting His presence to rub off on me and when I come out of that place, I just roar like the Lion that I am...so much confident (wink!)

Let's stay more in the presence of the Lion King that we might not forget our ways as lions, stay longer in the presence of Glory that we might reflect just that. Let's dine and feast with the King that we might not forget his words and reckon that we are princes , we carry so much authority, so much honour, so much power that we might do greater works....let's rise, beat our chests and roar that the jungle may know that the King reigns but not alone with his princes alike with him.

Let's deal with it

Yesterday, I read on omojuwa.com the story of a little girl who was repeatedly raped by her uncle until she got pregnant and I shivered. I did not shiver because I haven't heard or read about occurrences like this but because every time I see a movie and there is a scene on rape or abuse, I pick up the remote and forward the movie; if it's a book, I jump the pages; if it's on radio, I walk away or change the station. God bless me if it's a conversation, I either walk away or ask that we discuss something more pleasing to the ears; I always wished that these gory stories were untrue, but yesterday, I read that story, I mean, I read everything and re-read it again and I have done that this morning- I do not want to wish away these tales any longer! Let’s just deal with it.


I know a little girl who grew up amidst her cousins and uncles, when she was just around 5 years old, she had a particular male cousin who would finger her to satisfy his sexual orgies and he would do this over and over. He was not threatening to kill her if she tells her parent, he was not sweet-talking her into doing this, as far as the little girl knew, the cousin was just playing with her! She was lucky; 'the devil's play' did not grow beyond that till she left that environment. She could not tell her parents anything because as far as she was concerned, there was nothing to tell.

Back to that story I read, the 13 year old girl kept it to herself because her uncle threatened to kill her, and she also stated that “mama would never believe me and papa is never around to listen" and that shattered my heart. Why would mama not believe her own sweet girl in cases like this? Where is the mama-child connection in the first place? I thought mamas are guidance angels and children could always talk to them.

Did the girl ever have any 'sex-talk' with her parents? Growing up our parents (not only mine) had funny weird names for our sexual organs. Calling the "thing" its real name was to them vulgar and even you dare not try it.

I strongly believe that cases of uncles, teachers, house-helps and anyone molesting our little ones in silence would not be this rampant if parents would take the bull by the horns and educate their kids about sex.

Call the genitals by name; a penis is a P-E-N-I-S (sorry, but it's true). Tell them the correct names for their body parts, and use them every time. Don't use nicknames to refer to her genitals. This teaches her that the body is something to be hidden or masked. Correct terminology helps to understand and embrace the body without reservations or shame.

Teach them privacy- let her know her vagina is hers and it is private; no uncle, cousin, friend or teacher should touch her there. Tell him and her to say "no" to anyone who tries to touch his or her private parts against their wishes and get back to mummy and daddy about it.

Tell your girl you will always be there for her, start from her days as a toddler, let her build a stong support in you (including daddies too) . Let these angels know they can talk to you about any thing (from who took her toys to who pulled her hair and to who shares her seat in class) and that you won’t shove them away or disregard them. When they are grown, they would not entertain doubts about talking to you about any thing. 

As awkward as sex-talk might seem, remember each time you successfully tackle a sensitive topic, it gets easier the next time. Get yourself prepared, if your child is not asking, don't silently thank your stars that she is not asking, brace up your self and initiate the talk.
And please, do not wait till she is 13; by then, God forbid though, she might not need it any longer!!

Amiable Jonathan

Now before you judge me, let me be quick to say that I am not a supporter of His Excellency, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan not because I do not come from Otueke and its environs but because I thought of him as a weakling and still do, although now I have more adjectives for him including wicked and coward.

Looking back into our last 10 months as a nation, we have been thrown from one state of rumpus to another and all can be traced back to the leaders that we chose in 2011. I would have loved to say that the present leadership of this nation was imposed on us but truth be told, these unworthy leaders (or sorry, rulers- as they are not leading anyone)   made their way up to the presidency because we did not set our priorities right as a nation; we voted based on sentiments.

I did not vote for the ruling party because they had no ideals that were sellable to me.  It was heart breaking for me to discover at the polling booth then that majority of the older generation came out en-masse to vote for Goodluck because no one from his side of the country had never been president, and some thought Jonathan is amiable. Such sentiments!

I have been thinking so much about this amiable president that we have, he has failed the country in many ways but he has not let down the people who think he is amiable. He has proven that he is readily agreeable; Goodluck Jonathan has not for once stood up against the enemies of our country or the citizens. He has been cordial with the menace in this society, from Boko Haram bombings to unending looting of the national treasury. It’s not his fault; he is simply amiable.

The North is on fire, and our amiable President looks away, when he says anything about the bombings, you almost can read his speech along side with him “We commiserate with the family of the bereaved….” And that line that I detest because it’s not true “we are on top of the situation”

There was no 51^st anniversary of independence because even GEJ was afraid of Boko Haram, Corp members have been denied of the glamour of their Passing out Parade because we all do not know where and when the next bombs would go off, yet Jonathan is on top of the situation. Is our amiable Jonathan planting the bombs himself because I do not know why he claims to be on top of the situation when these bombings are escalating?

I do not agree that GEJ is amiable; ask Azazi, the President is busy fighting him while Boko Haram has a field day. I do not think GEJ is amiable; ask Timipre Sylva, he was ousted out of the looting business because he had issues with our amiable President. Jonathan finds his way around things he wants, like waiting around for the exit or demise of his boss and befriending those who would install him or chasing away protesters at any point.

My dad voted Goodluck in 2011 because he thinks he is good natured; the last time I asked him to appraise the good natured president, the old man sighed and said “may God help us in this nation, this man is something else”.

These days, I miss the days of OBJ, he had his flaws and many shortcomings and he was obviously not amiable but we were not being bombed, and I also thought if MGB had won the elections, may be we would never had heard of Boko Haram not because he is from the north but because he does not befriend the cabals and would not have danced to their tunes.

2015  (if we would correct this misatke of a presidency) looks like a decade away from now because our losses would not be quantifiable by then if our amiable president keeps looking the other way as his friends; the cabals, loot and bomb the nation.

The Mirror and the pearl

Frantically through my teens I searched, and search did I. I was looking for me (and now do not laugh at me but that was what I was looking for). It was that moment of my life when I frankly needed a definition to my existence and for some reasons I had a long search, I searched into my twenties and what a search it was.
I just could not come to understand for what reason was my stay on this side of eternity, so I wanted to be like someone else. It could have been easier if that 'someone else' was just one person; but no man or woman was a totality of the picture conceived in my heart, so there was no man I could echo or duplicate even if I wanted to, because my ideals were a bit of who A represents, a little of B, a fragment of K, and a chunk of X and it was more frustrating than interesting.
I can't indubitably say "click!|" this was the time I hit it, it was more of a journey and I am here now. What I found was a mirror and it just reflected a pearl; me!

The mirror refused me to duplicate someone else but precisely evinced who I am and the totality of what I can be if I choose to work at it, it presented to me the summation of all that my heart desires.
The mirror got me to see clearer, I got to know I am to live in dominion, reign in my world, live like a king whose personality I share and get transformed into the beauty of an image that minds cannot comprehend.
That mirror is my bible, it makes me see myself in the right perspective; a treasure. I am not yet accomplished; everyday as I search through its pages, I discover this pearl gets more refined. 

I am unique and work is always in progress on this gem; my manufacturer told me so!