Tuesday, 29 May 2012

A chip off the Old Block

"You must be Mr. Babs' daughter" , "oh my, why are aren't you a boy?" these statements were ones I often heard in the days when i would crop my hair and wear my boyish cheeky grin I got from my dad without any make-up and earringss. an accessory I "forget" to wear at will (my mom would always scold me when I do not wear earrings, so my escape line was to tell her I forgot it by the mirror), now that I with all effort dropped my tomboy ways and wear braids, makeup and all of that, I am still at first glance a chip off that old block; Mr Babs!
My people would say that no matter how broke a prince is, his royalty is something he would always have, a prince would always be a prince! No matter how well you primp or preen, clad in suit or live in rags, your inherent personality would never leave you except you disconnect consciously, it's your inheritance and your heritage.  This is what happens when a child whose dad had been long dead before the child came to awareness would display a character or make a decision and men who knew the late dad would acknowledge that the child just acted like the late dad.

Bible says God created people in his own very image, He patterned us after himself. What happened to us that men no longer say that we act just like Him? We would not have taken up all that redemption has to offer if all we do is hide under the pavilion of His name away fom the fiery darts of the devil or become a little bit more spiritual and pray in tongues. God chose to reconcile man to Himself that man may be restored to the former state, the split image of God, it pleases God that men be like Him.

This is so amazing because for man to come back to that state all he needs is to accept the reality of God's word. The Bible teaches that as many as recieved Christ, He gave them power to become the sons of God, the decision to embrace the truth that Christ alone reconciles man to God automatically generates power for the state of son-ship, all that is needed is to activate the power.

I love the letter Paul wrote to the Colossians, he foreknew that we might have issues accepting the simplicity of God's love, so he said "don't let anyone lead you astray with empty philosophy and high sounding nonsense that come from the basic principles of this world, for it pleases God that all the fullness of the deity dwell in Christ Jesus and you are complete through your union in Christ Jesus"

Union is the act of making or becoming a single unit and here is Paul saying we are united with Christ. Jesus himself said "I and my father are one"; we are in him, complete and filled of his nature, He said "I gave them the same glory you gave me so that they may be one just as you and I are one: I in them and you in me, so that they may be completely one...

All things have been made available, we are already pronounced blessed of all spiritual blessings, all we need is to take our place and exercise dominion. When affairs of life seem running out of hands, stand up and declare I am just like my father God, I have dominion over affairs, if Christ would walk on water then I can ride on storms, declare what you would love to have because your words carry life like His does and don't even waver or falter about your declarations until they materialize.

Stay in the place of prayer; whosoever woud have whatsoever he declares when he prays. That's why I love to pray, for me, it's staying in God's presence and declaring His words to Him and getting His presence to rub off on me and when I come out of that place, I just roar like the Lion that I am...so much confident (wink!)

Let's stay more in the presence of the Lion King that we might not forget our ways as lions, stay longer in the presence of Glory that we might reflect just that. Let's dine and feast with the King that we might not forget his words and reckon that we are princes , we carry so much authority, so much honour, so much power that we might do greater works....let's rise, beat our chests and roar that the jungle may know that the King reigns but not alone with his princes alike with him.

Thursday, 10 May 2012

Let's deal with it

Yesterday, I read on omojuwa.com the story of a little girl who was repeatedly raped by her uncle until she got pregnant and I shivered. I did not shiver because I haven't heard or read about occurrences like this but because every time I see a movie and there is a scene on rape or abuse, I pick up the remote and forward the movie; if it's a book, I jump the pages; if it's on radio, I walk away or change the station. God bless me if it's a conversation, I either walk away or ask that we discuss something more pleasing to the ears; I always wished that these gory stories were untrue, but yesterday, I read that story, I mean, I read everything and re-read it again and I have done that this morning- I do not want to wish away these tales any longer! Let’s just deal with it.

I know a little girl who grew up amidst her cousins and uncles, when she was just around 5 years old, she had a particular male cousin who would finger her to satisfy his sexual orgies and he would do this over and over. He was not threatening to kill her if she tells her parent, he was not sweet-talking her into doing this, as far as the little girl knew, the cousin was just playing with her! She was lucky; 'the devil's play' did not grow beyond that till she left that environment. She could not tell her parents anything because as far as she was concerned, there was nothing to tell.

Back to that story I read, the 13 year old girl kept it to herself because her uncle threatened to kill her, and she also stated that “mama would never believe me and papa is never around to listen" and that shattered my heart. Why would mama not believe her own sweet girl in cases like this? Where is the mama-child connection in the first place? I thought mamas are guidance angels and children could always talk to them.

Did the girl ever have any 'sex-talk' with her parents? Growing up our parents (not only mine) had funny weird names for our sexual organs. Calling the "thing" its real name was to them vulgar and even you dare not try it.

I strongly believe that cases of uncles, teachers, house-helps and anyone molesting our little ones in silence would not be this rampant if parents would take the bull by the horns and educate their kids about sex.

Call the genitals by name; a penis is a P-E-N-I-S (sorry, but it's true). Tell them the correct names for their body parts, and use them every time. Don't use nicknames to refer to her genitals. This teaches her that the body is something to be hidden or masked. Correct terminology helps to understand and embrace the body without reservations or shame.

Teach them privacy- let her know her vagina is hers and it is private; no uncle, cousin, friend or teacher should touch her there. Tell him and her to say "no" to anyone who tries to touch his or her private parts against their wishes and get back to mummy and daddy about it.

Tell your girl you will always be there for her, start from her days as a toddler, let her build a stong support in you (including daddies too) . Let these angels know they can talk to you about any thing (from who took her toys to who pulled her hair and to who shares her seat in class) and that you won’t shove them away or disregard them. When they are grown, they would not entertain doubts about talking to you about any thing. 

As awkward as sex-talk might seem, remember each time you successfully tackle a sensitive topic, it gets easier the next time. Get yourself prepared, if your child is not asking, don't silently thank your stars that she is not asking, brace up your self and initiate the talk.
And please, do not wait till she is 13; by then, God forbid though, she might not need it any longer!!

Posted on by Bimbola Segun-Amao | 3 comments