Wednesday 29 August 2012

IF ONLY...

This isn't what I wanted to write about. I had thought of writing about setting definite boundaries in mentoring, coaching, and submission, recently I have read so much about people taking unexplainable decisions just because their 'mentor or pastor' said. I had my thoughts all figured out and I would just pour them down, I had decided on the image that would be suitable for the post and all that, only for yesterday to pass and I did not write eventually for some reasons. I was going to let it pass until a friend asked me about the post we talked about.
I have been busy at work, trying hard to meet deadlines, so you can imagine how justified I felt when I said 'I've been busy'. Then, I felt that little scratch; if only I had tried harder to meet my own deadlines. I could have not watched "The Benjamins" ( a soap opera I watched on a local channel) yesternight and used that time to write or stayed up later into the night to write ( that's another price I could have paid to get this done).

So many things we could do and achieve if only...
for some folks, they would achieve more if only they think. I would have loved to say dream, but some people have funny dreams, they are basically day-dreaming. When a man tells you he is waiting for a lottery or hoping to find some money dropped somewhere, then you don't want to tell him to dream big any longer as he is already having 'funny dreams', you tell him to think. My dad says mental work is hard work and yes, I agree! It's not child's play to sit down or pace up and down (like some people do ) and think through a matter. But once you think through don't you just feel like you won a jackpot? I feel like light just flooded my heart, so relieving!

Some others would achieve more if only they dare. I remember how many times I told myself I would publish a blog, then I started one and did not want to publish for any one to see, I told myself no one would read it as I was not a popular elite, so I deleted the blog later. I can't say this was when I overcame the fear but I did overcome, I wrote the first post on this blog that I had to create again and dared to publish it and it was read! people read my blog! me!!! wow!!! that made me stay and here you are, you are also reading because I dared to. One daring story I like is the story of the Tower of Babel, how could some guys think they could build a tower to reach heaven and get to God? that's daring!!! God, Great God? build a tower? to get to Him? that's really daring! but they dared to and the Great God himself had to confuse them to stop them but that was after He had acknowledged that the mission was possible. Check Genesis 11, you will marvel. We can achieve much more and live our dreams if only we dare but don't dare to stand in God's way though, He doesn't like opposition.


We would achieve much more if only we move. Remember Newton's 1st law of motion, 'every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it'.  No matter how lofty your dreams are, if you don't take actions they will remain as fantasies. Enviable are you when you do not just concieve an idea, you implement it. I am tired of sharing my many dreams and plans with people, I am getting up to do them.  'Sleep a little, doze a little, fold your hands and twiddle your thumbs; then, everything will be gone as though it had been taken by an armed robber'. Get up and do those things you had always wanted to do.


Let nothing stop you from doing those things that are important to you, don't be stopped from living out the dreams in your heart. And don't stop your self. Find out what would have been if only you would do something about it and do that that something. Life most times is like a chain reaction, you have some people whose lives are attached to you being able to do the seemingly 'undo-able'.



For me, if only I could create time and finish up my language class and the abandoned craft lessons but now I would create time for them, I won't allow it to pass.  I'm committed to making my dreams come true. I won't be chanced to come to this world again, so I better live out my heart desires now that I am opportuned.


I started writing this in a bus on my way home from work, I wouldn't wait for later any more; there is no time called later as there would always be ' a later time', a good time is now.  I was going to write on boundaries, I will still do that next week.  I have promised myself I would work and meet my own deadlines. So help me God

Thursday 9 August 2012

When it's okay to fight


This morning, I sat behind my laptop with undefined feelings. I know I am not too excited, yet I am not sad, I am not angry but I am not in great moods, I can't place my hands on the kind of emotions running in my veins right now. I have shifted between crying and laughing in the last few minutes, my friend at work has made me laugh, made me shout and eventually left me to my own; he has not been able to get me back into my normal warm state.

I have a sister whose JD or bio should have been something like "thinking for a living". You can't be her friend and not know how to think, she thinks through everything, even her feelings. So with this drama going on in my life, I have decided to step into her shoes and think through these emotions. Why am I feeling this way?Is anything possibly wrong with me? What triggered these feelings? Am I just working myself up into frenzy? Questions and many more questions..... I concluded I am tired, kind of tired of my status quo, a bit restless too...something in me wants to break loose.

A man once told his first child "you are going to be subordinate to your younger brother but when you decide to be free you will break lose". That simply tells me its okay to fight! Nothing happens on this side of eternity until force is applied. I won't sit down and sing "it is well, it is well" (you know that song, right?) and let this feelings pass. I had felt like this in quick successions in recent times and yours sincerely was quick to sing that song, now it seems I settled myself into a state of inertia.

Now don't get me wrong, I am grateful for how far I have come, what do I have that I have not recieved? What could my arms have achieved without divine help? But there is a place for more, the mountain heights, a place where eagles fly; my friend calls it "there".

The beautiful butterfly itself wriggles out its cocoon, why should you not wriggle for freedom when restless? Doctors say pain is your friend, it simply tells you something is not right somewhere, so I won't play christainese with this feeling on my inside, I will ensure it spurs me to fight, good things don't come the way of men who wait for it but for men who seek good things or even fight for it.  

This good fight is relative, one might need to fight for her home, another might need to fight for his kids getting lost out there, another one's fight could be breaking free from corporate slavery like Jimi Tewe calls it, for me , it's a big fight to expression, getting out of a cocoon. This is when it’s okay to fight.

You identify where and what you have to fight or fight for, you may be like a butterfly, under the right conditions you could break out seemingly smoothly on your own or like the chick, you need a mother hen to brood over you or the right machinery, or better still a child, coming with so much drama, pains and aches but worth the hassles.

Fight when life throws dirt your way, fight when life wants to turn you into a prey (here, you are either a prey or a predator), fight for anything that is rightfully yours, fight for expression of your inner self, fight to be you, don’t be any man’s shadow but of God. Fight, just fight!