WOULD YOU RIDE WITH ME?

I remember the first time I came across the word joy-ride, I thought it would mean just what it looks like, a joy ride, you could imagine the disappointment when I ‘googled’ it.  I added it mentally to my compiling list of words that I have strong opinions about, words like nostalgia, bucket-list, ambiguous, gusto and many more because I had a funny idea of what I thought those words should mean. I thought nostalgia should mean irritating or something close to that,  like nauseating,  then ambiguous should mean something big and obvious and I thought joy-ride would mean taking a happy ride, hands in the air, wind in the face thing; not true. In fact, taking a joy-ride is criminal according to Wikipedia. I have no explanation for why I thought about these words that way, I am not a native speaker of the language and my imagination is allowed to go wild about words. I’m working on speaking English in my dreams, and then I would be sure I have overcome this grammar ‘thing’ eventually. lol.

Joy-ride: dictionary.com meaning-  

1.a pleasure ride in an automobile, especially when the vehicle is driven recklessly or used without theowner's permission.

2. a brief, emotionally exciting interlude

Joy-ride: my definition-

1. happy ride, in an open roof car driving on high speed on a road free of bumps and traffic, or exciting ride on a happy wild horse on mountain sides

2. a brief, emotionally exciting interlude …you get the picture?

I am just sticking to my definition for this piece because I want a joy-ride, my two definitions though, nothing criminal.

Would it not be really cool to take a smooth ride from the mainland in a convertible (maybe the Ford Mustang) to a far place like Badagry? You know,  getting high on some hard or soft rock all the way, no traffic jam, no pot holes, air in the hair and getting to one of the beautiful beaches of Badagry, walking bare-foot and drinking from the tender coconut its water? That would be some good evening for me, I could be tempted to sleep under the stars till day break…sigh!
Some little excitement is good for the soul and body, life shouldn't be all seriousness, we aren't coming out alive anyway, so don’t only set goals and more goals and more goals, live and live well. What happened to exploring? Like visiting different countries of the world or even remote villages and mountain climbing with some friends? Or driving through the desert for the sake of it? Getting on a roller-coaster; I've never done that before and would like to though I learnt I could get the fainting spell, or what about swimming in the ocean? (I’m just kidding about the ocean thing; I still get lily-livered at the sight of the rushing waves)

Photo credit: Vroomgirls.com

Talk about adventures and fun, I am a wild dreamer, I should become a wild doer and stop dreaming, maybe I need a willing partner, who knows- we could get on a speed boat together, what can God not do?

I saw this quote somewhere and it justified my desire for heart-pumping fun “Today is life-the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto” Dale Carnegie

So for this forth-coming holiday, I need to make the blood pump faster, would you take a joy-ride with me?

TO LEND MONEY PEOPLE IS HUMAN, TO COLLECT IT IS DIVINE

Lend (v)- to grant the use of something on condition that it or its equivalent will be returned.

My brother tweeted this some days back and I laughed hard and then stated that it was a painful bad truth. Most times, one needs divine intervention to collect back something (money in most occurrences) that was collected in privy. When the borrower comes to borrow, he asks that you be excused if there’s an eager third party and you step out to have the quiet talk spiced with many promises and a lot of swearing… “God knows I will repay”, “I promise!”... “walahi!”... “I won’t disappoint”…

Fast forward to due date, you would expect his/her call till you have seemingly waited for ever, and then when the guy calls, he’s in a hurry to end the call and says “sorry, please send your account details”. Hope rising, you send the account details and wait endlessly for the bank notification. Unending wait I tell you.

A friend shared some of his experiences with me lately about “good people” that he lent money to and when it was time to refund, the “good people” pulled off their masks and showed him how nasty they could be. By the time he got to the third story, I was tempted to ask him how he managed to keep on burning his fingers… honestly, the guy must have “burnt” all of 10 fingers. And the effrontery people have when they owe you! Someone even abused him so much and told him to stop feeling like a rich dude! So much for being helpful

It’s not just awful that you have tarnished your integrity as I am NEVER eager to lend defaulters again you are also blocking other people’s chances. Some people genuinely need money that they are not able to pull together at the time of need and a helping hand is needed to save the day but if the lender has horrible experiences of defaulters in time past, he is most likely going to turn a deaf hear as he doesn’t know if he would ever get to be repaid.

Now “remember” to pay anyone you have borrowed from, not necessarily because you like to, but because your friend, brother, sister or anyone else may need financial assistance and it won’t be fair that your failure to refund has influenced their being denied.  What goes round comes round eventually.

It’s possible things haven’t turned out like you expected and you don’t have the money yet, be courteous enough to show remorse and apologize for not being able to pay nevertheless. Who knows? You may get a voluntary write-off of the debt. This is better than acting up, I tell you.

Do I owe you? Buzz my line ASAP (lol)

GO BACK TO THAT NOTE

My informal training this past month has brought wonderful people across my path, from the pharmacist turned journalist, Tolu Ogunlesi to Jon Gambrell, AP Chief Correspondent in Nigeria, to Bukola Kogbe, the HR guru, and Harry Akinola to Jimi Tewe, all very seasoned speakers and instructors. Hearing them teach about significance makes the heart beat faster because of wide dreams and possibilities awakening.

My notepad is loaded!!! My storage device almost full with slides and audio files, and yet there are other meetings to attend still, another workshop in a short while, and the notes may keep piling.

If one would write exams for what has been acquired in knowledge per month or quarterly like we do in formal settings, how well would one do?

For most people, we tend to pay more attention to our formal education, we attend classes religiously, cram our notes and study hard to pass our exams, which in most cases, these knowledge seem not too relevant in life scenarios. We would actually be better developed and increase in value if we pay more attention to our informal classes as life seem to impact more through the informal setting. I think I've learnt valuable practical lessons from the informal than the formal.

We all need to befriend our notes more. Apart from seminars, workshops, training or even church, some of us write our spur of the moment ideas, inspirations and thoughts in our notepads, the burning sensation that hits us when a speaker says something we agree with or find fascinating makes us write those words down, and that sensation can be relived if we will go back to the notes later.

Don’t we feel like we could conquer anything when we are just done with another life improvement teaching? Don’t we get energy to want to take on much more from those workshops? Then after a week or so, the note pad is closed and some, if not all the inspiration we got is almost evaporated. Go back to that note!

There’s a lot one can learn from an old note, you may even find those ideas and actions plans you were inspired to put down on how to take your life to the next level you never executed. You may get inspired to take on a task you've found challenging or seemingly impossible.

See; Life brings exams too like the school system, except that there are no timetables and the exams are always impromptu, they come disguised as new challenges or opportunities, only those who have taken their informal classes serious are able to excel. They have gone through their notes and they have applied the knowledge learnt. Would you pass?

Read your notes frequently, you’ll be a better person, listen to that podcast again, put the audio book on your phone and listen to it. Go through the slides again. Do whatever has to be done, wisdom lies in applying knowledge.

Still like a child

The heat has been almost unbearable for a while and the rain would bring so much relief, everyone desired that and so it rained, as the droplets were hitting my roof, only one thing was on my mind; to get into the rain.

It was in the night and I was supposed to be sleeping, sleep also chose to elude me this particular night, so I was there on my bed wishing I was in the rain. I craved the taste of rain water and only the showers of rain could soothe my skin like I wanted that night but I wouldn’t get into that rain, I’m a grown woman plus someone’s  missis.  Sigh! So much for growing up!

I miss the little girl that I was; I was a child and nothing else!!

I could stay in the rain or choose to run around in it or even dance in it, or better still, cup my hands under a heavy downpour and just gulp the rain let-down (oh my! That used to be heavenly, now don’t tell me you haven’t tried that, I did over and over again)

I miss the days we would sing and run and chase each other on the bushy roads that led to our home.  We could trek any distance and never felt the pain; I could do many things and not be bothered about what others might think of us!

I miss the days of our pardonable mischief as children; days when we would stay behind dad’s bedroom window whispering and giggling till he shouts “E s’ere lo o” (Please go and play somewhere else) –and that was our ticket to freedom, we would not be back till dusk from wherever we decided “somewhere else” was.

Childhood was fun! Pure fun! No techie stuff to play with, but I had fun I must say.

“Grow up and leave childhood behind”, right? I have, but I packed a baggage full of my childlike ways to last me a life-time.

I still dance to an audience of one; and that’s me! And if you walk in on me at that time, God bless you, you can enjoy the free show as I hardly stop. And I still shamelessly beat the table as I shout my songs ( I really can’t call that singing)   like we used to do then and I still make faces, there is hardly any face contortion I haven’t tried.

I like little children for many reasons but I like them more for one reason, they are children!

A child has no worries, a child doesn’t “think” about it, a child is easily persuaded, a child moves on easily. I am trying hard to not think too much about things this day and just do it being fully persuaded that I can trust God like a child trusts the parent.

The baggage I packed from childhood couldn’t contain so many things but I’m grateful for the ones I stuffed in, I will acquire more as the journey demands, kids are fun and I just want to keep the fun in my life, simple!

And dear rain, I may get into you any time soon, especially if you choose to fall in the evening of one of the weekends, cross my heart!!

Work in Progress

As much as I would have loved you to think that I’m a saint and I have everything in place, we all know it’s not true so there is no need for the façade, every man especially me, is work in progress because God isn’t through with me yet. So from the construction site, I bring you a brief report. It’s not a full one though as the contractor is still busy on site but I tell you, he’s done with this side of the project and it’s a good job I say. He’s best at what he does and here is the report.

Have you ever being in a state of envy? I’m not saying you’re being envied or you ‘think’ someone known or unknown is being envious of you, I’m talking about you being the culprit, you are the one envying, the one who wishes to be the other girl, well, I slipped into that and didn’t even stay there alone, took it a step further, I didn’t want to see her!

I grew up being carefree; if I didn’t have it or couldn’t have it, then it wasn’t mine, I wouldn’t lose sleep or blink an eye over anything that wasn’t mine, not even the most gorgeous of dresses or fanciful shoes, I only admired and moved on, my mum saw to that initially and God ensured I stayed that way. I just didn’t care about any other person’s materials or things I couldn’t afford. I had my eyes only on mine, if I was getting anything it was because I needed it and could afford it not because a friend had it. I wouldn’t just be given to vanities. Plus, I loved people and would be happy for anyone who is doing fine, happy with anyone who had or did not have, I could love anything or anybody, I was a happy cheer leader.

Then last year, I began to bear a grudge. I didn’t like her and I could justify my feelings, I told myself how selfish and inconsiderate and cold she was, how she was always looking out for herself alone and how she could never be my friend and bla bla bla plus she had this beautiful ‘enviable’ platonic relationship that I in my ‘sainthood’ thought she didn’t deserve. I was gradually beginning to resent her.

I didn’t know it was a big deal until her name could make my heart beat faster, and then I knew there was a big problem; I had slipped out of love into being something else.  My eyes were off track and counting another person’s blessings, who made me judge and friendship allocator, hey? I had allowed the wrong seed to grow. I needed to get it uprooted and get right with God. It was no longer about her, not about anything she could have been or not be but about God and I. Did God not say to earnestly desire and pursue love, for God is love?

I had to work out my salvation with fear and trembling, telling myself how much of God’s love is in my heart to share. Yes, I took it further by being genuinely interested in things that concerned her and confessing God’s word concerning her.  After a while, stuffs that triggered the resentments no longer had meaning to me, my eyes were again on the beautiful things in God’s plan for my life and the beautiful relationships he has brought along my path and my countless blessings. I think we get jealous when we count other’s peoples blessings rather than ours, well, my eyes are back on mine!

I’m happy this is done with, no resentments, no envy, no jealousy! I’m God’s work in progress and I am fully assured He isn’t quitting site yet until I attain full maturity and walk into his glory.  

Sista oh sista!!!

Sista oh  sista!!!

I get attracted to fine girls easily; now don’t blame me, who won’t? When I see or I’m chanced to meet someone who has taken the pains to groom her body well, I get to look at her and pass a smile, and in my head and heart, I give her a big thumb up, especially if everything is well coordinated, the colours not running wild or the make-up amuck. Well I am still working on being chic, so I keep looking at those who’ve mastered the arts.

                But beyond the arts, sisters, we need to up our game! In recent times, I have met ladies who were all beauty alone, sustaining a healthy conversation was almost impossible. When discussions moved beyond make-up and fashion, you would be shocked at their level of ignorance. Some were not even the fashionistas, they just didn’t know any other thing beyond their tiny world. Alright, I know for the very spiritual sistas-sista, you are quick to say those stuffs are not part of your bible or of your academics, but I tell you Jesus knew the ways of the world around him; he just didn’t walk in them.

Maybe it’s me, but ignorance gets at me. I was brought up to read the newspapers daily and to at least watch the popular NTA news, I am not saying you should read the papers daily though but stay informed. Some little things matter, I have met some fine girl who didn’t know who Tambuwal was, another once asked if Chimamanda was a movie star, then one very spiritual sis was discovered to not have ever heard of Farouk Lawan. Hmmn! How would you ever pass an interview please?

The uncurious woman is boring and the easiest to forget, I tell you. Don’t tell me it’s no big deal because it is. You see, the most attractive part of any woman (and man too) is the brain. So work more on that, groom your body but groom your brain and spirit more. Beyond the Louis Vuitton, Christian Louboutin labels, your level of reasoning and intellect would put you ahead of others and bring you respect and cause you to sit in high places especially when God is on your team too.

 

And please sisters, don’t you ever think marriage is the ultimate prize for you as a woman, living out your dreams and purpose is. Being a Mrs. won’t automatically bring you better fortunes you would still have to work at it. So why not start now? More so, if your hubby would sit at the gate with elders, it’s pertinent that you know what the elders discuss. Else, you will either end up with a guy who like you, has no business at the elders council or with one whom you will accessorize his house and will be comfortable parading your beauty to his friends and colleagues. I don’t know which could be more frustrating.

Read books and read articles more, I discovered that articles are easier to read than books, they are always short and precise. Make google your friend; it has taught me countless things.

                Sista-oh-sista, don’t just be spiritual. Know a little of everything, and live a happily interesting life. Christianity is not synonymous to mediocrity or a boring life.

 

Image credits: Eightworks Photgraphy 070-3726-7713

Model: Uduak Umanah

 

Raise Your Glass

I like that I was born in January, and the 4^th day of the year at that! It gives me the privilege to do all the stock-taking, goal setting, vision-writing all at once by the start of the new year and most times I wait till the 3^rd or 4^th as that starts another countdown for me. So today, I’ll be taking stock of my life, some pruning here and there, think about adding more virtues, write goals, reflect on days past and give thanks.

This one is a bit different though as I step into another decade, I see this as a landmark. Gradually, I’m getting old and moving into my mid-year phase, God be praised. The way time rolls beat me, when was it that I was 18, just some few years ago now. I can’t forget the excitement as I went to register for my voters’ card, if I could get drivers’ license without driving knowledge I could have done that that very year, I felt like an adult, a very young one but here I am now, everything reminds me I’m no longer that young especially these market women; those days they call out and say ‘sisi mi, e ba mi ra eja o’ but in the last few months all I hear from them is ‘mama aburo, e ba mi ra eja o’. Most times I chuckle when I hear that, Bimbola is suddenly mama aburo and mind you, I take no ‘aburo’ to the market. It’s just plainly obvious I’m no longer ‘sisi mi’

I’ve come this far by God alone, what do I have that I have not received? Nothing! God has kept watch over me and all that is mine, I’m so grateful.  I really wish I could throw a party and dance wild. You know that kind of dancing like it’s a Sony Sound System Advert? Hands in the air swinging wide, head thrown back and forth, heart throbbing hard, loud barring music with a glass of whatever in hand…but erm… I get cold feet when I think about it; I should honestly try this, get me some good lyrics and just dance out my heart. I should, God deserves more praise.

It’s been quite a journey but I’m here today, happy and grateful. I’ve had my shares of failures, I count them as events, no big deal, every day is a new chance. I’ve had my shares of broken trust but ain’t we all humans? I’m sure I would have failed some people too. I’m blessed with an awesome family and friends that have so much love and hugs to throw around…I’m grateful.

 I found God and love him better each day, one good reason to be grateful.  I’m gradually settling down in a niche that suits me ( a bit late, right), yet I’m grateful.

So for all that has been; my happy moments, trying periods, secret pains, loving relationships, God’s blessings and faithfulness, I want to take make a toast, yes, I'm taking that honour by myself for myself. So raise your glass while I make the toast; a toast to a better life, a life of love that overflows to all around me, a life that speaks volume of God’s original intention for man, a toast to a beautiful home and another journey of a better decade.

CHEERS!

I love this image a lot. I put it up when I get really happy. I couldn't resist putting it up